God's Guide to Sleeping With Humans
by LaylaBinx
Summary: Sleeping with humans is weird. They squirm, they flail, they kick; just overwhelmingly destructive even when they're dead asleep. Also they're so SMALL; like sleeping with gerbils. All together they're just really awkward to share a bed with. The gods are happy to do it anyway though.


**Ugh, this silly trash movie has taken over my silly trash life -_-; I love it though; God help me but I love it. This was a fun idea that popped up on the fandom page and I really enjoyed playing around with it. It gets a little angsty a couple times but it does have a happy ending! Hope you all enjoy!**

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Hathor sleeps like a cat. She's long and lean, draping across the bed and and tangling herself in silk sheets like a giant panther. She paces the room on the tips of her toes, slowly, gracefully, fingers gliding over glass tables and marble banisters. She lounges on the bed, stretched out and relaxed or curling around the person with her.

It's a bit tricky to sleep with humans due to their small, diminutive size. She finds this out the hard way the first night she sleeps with Zaya. It happens some months after Horus rescues her from the underworld for a second time. She's restless and roving, circling her room like a caged animal. She's torn between wanting to escape and wanting to stay put, battling herself internally, when Zaya steps in the room.

She and Bek had been living in the palace since Set's defeat and she had happily volunteered to be the goddess' attendant when she returned. Hathor didn't necessarily want an attendant but she didn't send Zaya away either; she had met the mortal girl briefly when she spoke with her during her journey through the Nine Gates and she was intrigued. She wanted to get to know her, to understand her; she wanted Zaya as her companion, not her attendant.

When they slept together that first night it wasn't about sex, it was simply about companionship. She was still antsy from her time in the underworld and both of them were lonely with Horus and Bek away for a council. Zaya stayed with her and she curled around her like a lioness.

Being the goddess of love, Hathor is very tactile and affectionate, traits which follow her into the bedroom easily. She's constantly touching, stroking an arm or gliding her fingers through long, dark hair. She sleeps with her partners the way a mother cat would, protective and possessive, holding them close and curling around them. Zaya is so small that in that first night, she loses her in the bed a few times. She finds herself pawing and kneading at the mattress in search of her before finally locating her and dragging her back to her original place in the goddess' arms.

Bek is no different and she treats him just the same. Once again, the first night is not about sex when she tugs him against her body and holds him tightly. She tangles her legs around his and drags her fingernails lightly over his back and shoulders. She combs his hair back with her fingers, caresses his cheek lightly, and nuzzles against him affectionately. If there was ever a way to accurately describe Hathor it would be cat like.

She can be a bit bolder and more aggressive when it comes to Horus. She doesn't have to be as concerned with accidentally breaking him as she does with Zaya or Bek. When she's with Horus, she can be strong and forceful and passionate.

Her skin shimmers bronze in the dim light of their bedroom, the dull, flickering flames of a nearby candle casting long, deep shadows across her body. When she sleeps with him she makes it a point to take up and equal mixture of Horus and the bed, sleeping half on top of him and stretching out over the rest of the mattress.

She presses close and nuzzles against his jaw, long fingers tracing hieroglyphs across his chest and the curves of his shoulders. Her fingernails scratch lightly sometimes, claw deeply others, and she's more than capable and willing to sink them in deep when she needs to. In moments like those, when passion gives way to blood, her fingernails will glitter gold in the muted light and they both admire it in equal parts horror and fascination. And then, like a cat, she'll lean down and lap up the golden blood that streaks across his chest in long, shallow scratches, moving up to kiss him, his blood on her lips and the taste of it in her mouth.

Some nights when they tumble into bed together she pursues him like a predator, her dark eyes fixed on him and gleaming. On those nights she's quick to pounce, to clear the distance between them in a graceful spring that takes them both down onto the mattress. On those nights she'll nip and bite at him, hungry and desperate and aching. She'll press into him, back arched and fingers kneading across his skin. On those nights, when they're both more animal than god, they'll rip the sheets and destroy the pillows all in a desperate attempt to take the other one down first.

Other nights she'll slip into bed with him with the silence and grace of a shadow. Her body will press flush against his, warm and seamless like she's made to be there. Her legs will tangle with his, her head tucked against the curve of his shoulder and her fingers splayed across his broad chest. On those nights, when both of them are troubled by memories of the past, mistakes and pain and loss, they don't speak very much, they simply hold each other and watch as the stars glitter and fade in the sky.

Tonight had been something of a mix. Hathor had been waiting for him when he retired for the evening, half-reclined on the bed and wearing little more than a teasing smirk. Her bracelet glitters at her wrist, the jewels twinkling like a thousand tiny stars secured in gold. It's the only thing she's wearing, the only thing that matters, a long held promise of love and devotion between them.

He takes her in his arms and pulls her down onto the bed, hissing softly when she bites down on his shoulder none too gently. She's never been one to back down easily and tonight is no different. She meets him with every push and pull, every thrust and every groan. Just as they'd done a hundred times before, her fingernails dig tiny, golden trenches into his skin and, not for the first time, Horus revels in the feeling of pain and blood that accompanies the pleasure.

Once they've been sated, they lie in each other's arms, hopelessly tangled in the sheets and each other. They're both uncomfortably warm and slicked with sweat but neither of them care to move. Instead, Hathor moves closer, brushing her lips over the gold-flushed tinge of his cheeks. She pauses briefly and presses a soft, gentle kiss to each of his eyelids, her fingers carding through his hair. She traces her way down slowly, finally capturing his lips in a tender kiss. Her hair falls across her bare shoulders and covers her breasts in silky, dark tendrils. She's impossibly beautiful, wild and dangerous and captivating all at the same time. Horus doubts he's ever loved her more.

She curls against him again, hooking one leg over his and tucking her head beneath his chin. Horus's fingers trace long, lazy patterns up and down the length of her spine and in that moment he can swear he hears Hathor purr.

 **OOOOO**

Horus sleeps like he's trying to make amends for the past. He's quiet and pensive, wading through memories of failure and fall. He still carries the weight of Set's destruction on his shoulders like a living thing, a dense, heavy entity that clings to his back and breathes down his neck. He wrestles with questions of 'what if' and misjudgment and takes the loss of his parents as a deep, gaping wound.

When night rolls around and he's left with his mind and his memories, he searches for ways to repair the wrongs he'd been both intentionally and unintentionally the cause of. He seeks out Hathor first, desperate to see her and remind himself that she's here and safe, not trapped and adrift in the darkness of the underworld. When he finds her, he clings to her briefly, wrapping her in his arms and holding her close the way he wanted to before she slipped off her bracelet outside of Set's pyramid.

He had been one split second too late, watched in horror as the bracelet fell onto the blood-red sand as she was gripped and pulled into the darkness at the same moment. He had been reaching out for her, arms outstretched, but she was gone in the blink of an eye. He knew that if he survived his encounter with Set, no matter how impossible that may have seemed, he would willingly risk his life to rescue her again. She was everything and he couldn't lose her again.

When they lay together in bed, he keeps one hand on her at all times. He can't quite convince himself to let go even though he'd successfully pulled her from the darkness again months ago. He keeps thinking he'll wake up to find her gone again, the bed empty and the sheets cold. He holds onto her like he can somehow make up losing her in the first place.

He holds onto Zaya in the same way. On the nights she ends up in bed with him, he clings to her like a silent apology. He knew he couldn't save her from the cold embrace of death, he never could, and he had called Anubis to take her away. It hadn't meant anything in the beginning; she was simply another mortal who met an untimely end on the tip of an arrow. It was nearly impossible to be so flippant now; she's so precious to him, a genuine light in a sometimes heavy and impenetrable darkness that he can't imagine there was ever a time without her.

Zaya is more than he's ever deserved and he feels the weight of his failure to her daily. She's honest and pure, she believes in him endlessly, and he had been so quick to release her to the underworld in the beginning. The very idea of it horrified him now and he fights relentlessly to make amends for it even though she assures him it's not necessary. When they sleep together he cradles her close, tucking her in his arms like a precious and priceless treasure. She feels so small and vulnerable in his arms and that only makes him pull her closer. She had been rescued from the underworld just as Hathor had but Horus vows to make it up to both of them somehow.

Bek is the one he struggles with the most. He had failed him so many times, deceived him, lied to him, used him to get to Set. If anyone deserved an apology it was the scrappy, stubborn little mortal that had literally crashed into his life at the most inappropriate time. He had been so desperate to get rid of him in the beginning, annoyed and frustrated beyond measure at mortal's gall and sarcasm that he honestly considered just killing him the moment he returned his eye in the temple. Bek said he could get his other eye for him and there was actually a moment where Horus considered cutting his losses and just killing him to be done with it.

But he didn't. For some Ra forsaken reason he didn't and he ended up stuck with the foolish, determined, impossibly brave human for the remainder of his journey. He didn't work well with humans and it would have been easy enough to leave him the desert but, once again, he didn't. Something changed along the way, something he didn't expect. He actually began to care about his reckless, impetuous companion and found himself going out of his way to keep him safe. He protected him, shielded him, guarded him as much as possible during the battle against Set but it wasn't enough. Bek was human, he tended to forget that, and humans can break.

In the absolute hopelessness of the situation, he consoled himself that at least Bek would be reunited with his love in the afterlife. It was weak comfort as he cradled the small, broken body of the thief in his arms as he walked back into the tomb. As he laid him next to Zaya, gazing upon the bruised and battered face of the irritating little human he'd grown to love, he knew he had failed him.

Ra had seen fit to grant him one last request, one last impossible miracle and Bek and Zaya were returned from the brink. It was the greatest gift he could have ever received and Horus knows he'll spend the rest of his long life thankful for it.

So every night that Bek finds himself in his bed, Horus utters a couple hundred prayers of thanks to his grandfather. He doesn't know how to even begin atoning for the things he'd done to Bek but with the mortal safe and breathing his arms, he feels like that's a decent enough start. Horus holds onto him, arms wrapped tightly around Bek's thin, wiry frame, and tries to think of ways to make up for their past.

 **OOOOO**

Zaya sleeps better when she's close to someone. She gets small and quiet, laying close and maintaining some form of contact at all times. She doesn't cling but she holds on like she's afraid of losing herself if he lets go.

Horus doesn't understand it at first. When she comes to him the first night, meek and quiet as a desert mouse, she stands in the doorway looking hesitant and unsure. She looks distinctly uncomfortable, not because she's standing in the presence of the god but because of why she's there.

She can't sleep when Bek is away and he's not due to come back for another few days. If he's perfectly honest with himself, Horus isn't too happy about Bek's absence either. Thoth had recruited him for something (no one really questioned what) and promised him back by the end of the week. There was very little use arguing with the god of knowledge, anyway; he'd find a way to steal Bek no matter what and it was easier to simply allow him to go in the first place.

Bek had departed the day before and the sleepless night Zaya had endured after he left was evident on her face. Her dark, pretty eyes are slightly red from fatigue and there are dull, bruise-like circles beneath them. She shifts slightly when she explains this, tiny hands clasped in front of her nervously. It's embarrassing and she hates it but it can't be helped.

Except it can. Horus can't stand to see her like this and he refuses to let her suffer if can help it. Bek trusted him to keep Zaya safe while he was away and he has no plans to break that promise. He offers her his bed until Bek returns, ensuring rest and safety while he's away. Zaya still appears embarrassed by her reasons but she accepts Horus's offer with a small nod and a shy smile.

He cradles her close that night, large arms wrapped around her tiny frame as she sleeps. He notices then (though he's not sure if it's a conscious gesture or not) that she tangles her fingers in the fabric of his shirt like she's trying to anchor herself to him. She doesn't wiggle or squirm in his arms, she doesn't move at all except to press her face into his side. She holds onto him all night and Horus returns the favor.

In spite of her initial embarrassment and hesitation, it's clear that Zaya sleeps better when someone is close by. There's nothing sexual about those nights, they're simply for comfort and rest. Zaya feels safe with him and she sleeps better when she's curled in his arms and Horus is more than happy to help.

Zaya is a little more candid about the root of her sleeplessness with Hathor. Maybe it's because of her close association with the Land of the Dead or her experience in the underworld but Zaya is able to be more open and honest with her. When she has sleepless nights, which come and go with little warning or explanation, she often finds herself seeking out the Mistress of the West.

They have an undeniable connection, a bond neither of them bother to question or define. It has nothing to do with manipulation or the fact that Hathor is the goddess of love; notions of love and affection are fluid concepts that shift as frequently as the current in the Nile. Zaya loves Hathor just as she loves Bek and Horus, fully and without hesitation.

She's tucked in Hathor's arms one night, her back pressed against the goddess' chest. Zaya is nestled comfortably in Hathor's lap, her fingers tracing over the goddess' hands and fingers absently. Hathor has her arms looped around Zaya's much smaller body loosely, hugging her close and resting her chin lightly on the mortal girl's shoulder. They're both quiet and content, gazing out over the sleeping city like sentinels. They're naked save for the silk sheets wrapped snugly around their bodies, smooth fabric twisting and shifting slightly as they move.

"I dream about it sometimes," Zaya tells her quietly, not looking back as she speaks.

Hathor frowns and tucks a long, loose tendril of Zaya's hair behind her ear. "Dream of what, dear one?"

Zaya leans into her a bit more as if seeking an anchor. Hathor is more than happy to assist and draws her a little closer.

"The Land of the Dead," Zaya replies after another moment of silence. Her voice is quiet and soft, drifting on the wind like fine particles of sand. "It's why I have trouble sleeping when I'm alone. I dream of it so often I'm afraid one day I won't wake up and that I'll be trapped there again."

It's Hathor's turn to be silent and she frowns thoughtfully. She knows that fear all too well, the fear of being trapped in the cold darkness of the underworld, to be lost and longing, wandering hopelessly and searching for any sign of light. Her eyes drift to the bracelet at her wrist, dotted with dozens of glittering gems. That had been her source of light, the one that guided her out of the pit. It had been her saving grace but she knows all too well how many others are never given that reprieve.

She keeps Zaya hugged close, tightening her arms around the smaller girl slightly. Zaya may have been granted a second chance at life but that didn't erase her memories of death. Surreal and dreamlike as they were, those memories remained and tugged at her subconscious whenever she was alone. It was no wonder she had trouble sleeping at night.

"It is natural to fear death," Hathor tells her quietly, carding her fingers through Zaya's dark hair again. "But you must not let that fear consume you. We all must walk that path eventually; such is the nature of life. But you should not fear it. For as long as I am able, I will keep you and Bek from harm and ensure that your journey will not begin before you are ready for it. This I vow."

Zaya smiles softly at the promise. An invisible layer of tension seems to drain from her and she relaxes a little more against the goddess. "You are too good to us," she says quietly, her voice cracking just slightly with some kind of raw emotion.

Hathor hugs her close and brushes her lips against the mortal girl's temple. "I am the goddess of love," she tells her simply by way of explanation. "It is not a title I hold lightly, particularly when it pertains to the ones I hold most dear. I give my love and protection to you willingly."

When they do fall asleep later that evening, Zaya remains curled in Hathor's arms, her head tucked beneath the goddess' chin. She sleeps deeply, unconscious lines of tension and worry softening from her features. She doesn't seem as hesitant to fall asleep following their conversation but she holds onto Hathor nonetheless.

 **OOOOO**

Bek sleeps like he's going to war. He does not sleep peacefully or quietly; he tosses and turns pretty much all night, thrashing and mumbling as ghouls and phantoms haunt his dreams. There is nothing restful about his sleep patterns and it's a wonder he's not more exhausted upon waking than he was when he fell asleep the night before.

Zaya is used to his restlessness and has found ways to sleep around it. She can tuck herself into his arms and manage to keep him at least marginally still throughout the night (although he still mutters and shifts fitfully through most of it). On particularly rough nights, when Bek is especially ill at ease, Zaya will wake up several times through the night to soothe him, combing her fingers through his hair, whispering his name softly, effectively chasing away the darkness that plagues his dreams.

Bek has nightmares frequently although he never seems to remember them upon waking or if he does he claims ignorance. Sometimes Zaya thinks she hears him saying names in the middle of the night, phantoms she's never met or heard of before. She wants to ask but she doesn't; she just holds Bek tightly in the middle of the night in the hopes that she can drive away some of his demons.

Zaya has a feeling most of his dreams are related to his childhood although she doesn't know for sure; Bek was careful to keep a good majority of his past hidden from everyone, even Zaya. He would just smile and tell her not to worry, closing that door and throwing away the key. He didn't want to burden her or anyone else with whatever dark, unhappy things he kept locked behind that door and he was more than happy to keep it closed forever.

He couldn't keep them from his subconscious though and his restless, troubled sleep was indicative of that. He would often wake up gasping and breathless, hopelessly tangled in the bedding and skin prickled with sweat. He's able to shrug it off well enough during the day but at night he's usually left at the mercy of the things he does his best to suppress.

Hathor notices this early on although she doesn't know how to help him. She often finds him wandering around the palace late at night, unusually quiet and thoughtful in the darkness of the hallways. It wasn't like him, his usual humor and sarcasm replaced with undeniable tension. When Hathor asks him about this, Bek just offers an easy smile and tells her that sometimes he just has occasional insomnia and it's nothing to worry about. It would be easy enough to believe if it didn't happen so frequently.

On average she notices that he experiences "occasional insomnia" several times during the week. He never seems bothered by it but it leaves Hathor concerned and she mentions it to Zaya. In turn, Zaya tells her about his regular nightmares and restlessness, how he seems to fight and struggle in his sleep more nights than not. Zaya is at a loss as well and neither of them know how to help.

Hathor invites both him and Zaya to share her bed one evening, wondering if the closeness of both of them would help ease the thief's troubled mind enough to allow him to sleep peacefully. It works for about half the night before Bek becomes restless and fidgety again, one arm flailing out and accidentally smacking the goddess in the face just before dawn. Bek apologizes for three full days afterward and no matter how hard Hathor tries to convince that it's alright and that he hadn't hurt her (being struck by a human was little more distressing that being struck by a moth), Bek still feels guilty.

Horus is the only one who seems to have any success in easing Bek's sleep troubles. Following the incident, Hathor had mentioned her concerns to him, wondering if he had a solution they hadn't considered yet. She even brings it up to Thoth to see if the god of knowledge had any suggestions. When Thoth makes an offhanded comment about borrowing Bek for a few days for a sleep study Horus makes an equally offhanded comment about rounding up all of Thoth's copies and burying them in the world's largest pile of lettuce. He's determined to figure out how to help Bek if it's the last thing he does.

Horus had experienced Bek's restlessness first hand during their travels together to defeat Set but he had simply attributed it to nerves and adrenaline. Even after Set was defeated and both Bek and Zaya had been resurrected, he factored his thief's continued edginess to the residual stress and anxiety left over from several near-death experiences and even death itself. It hadn't occurred to him that it could be something deeper than that until a little while later.

Horus is all too aware of it now though and he knows how to fix it to a certain extent. It's not perfect and it certainly doesn't get to the root of the problem but it's a temporary solution that works and that's all that matters. He doesn't know what triggers Bek's nightmares or what factors into them but he knows what to look for and sees the subtle signs of things to come. He knows that when Bek is more fidgety and on edge during the day, it's usually indicative of a restless night to come. He watches as Bek forces himself to stay awake deep into the night in a vain attempt to keep the nightmares at bay and he knows that when he eventually does give up and succumb to the exhaustion, a rough night generally follows. Horus recognizes these signs and has a method for counteracting the negative effects they bring.

When Bek is showing signs of an impending difficult and turbulent night, Horus makes sure he's sharing a bed with the small, fitful mortal when the evening comes. Bek doesn't understand it at first but then they've shared a bed together before so it's not such an unusual situation. He allows the god to pull him close and keep one arm looped around his waist as he drifts to sleep, exhausted and weary from the day before. When the nightmares inevitably begin later, which they always do, Horus is waiting for it and he's prepared.

They often begin slow at first, Bek's fingers twitching slightly and his breathing picking up a little in the middle of the night. The muscles in his back tense slightly and he begins shifting and twisting restlessly as they begin to get more vivid. Horus wakes up almost immediately, recognizing the signs of distress just as they begin. With his arm still wrapped around Bek, large hand spanning the length of his ribs, he can feel the quickening thump of the mortal's heartbeat against his palm. The god frowns and sets his plan into motion.

Keeping one arm wrapped around his thin, wiry thief, he pulls him closer until the smaller man is pressed flush against his body. He moves his other arm and wraps it around him as well, cradling him close and tight. Just as Zaya had done all the many nights before, he holds him close and whispers his name, keeping his voice soft and gentle as he speaks.

It has the desired effect and after a moment or two, Bek begins to relax and the tension in his muscles loosens. He shakes himself awake a short time later, realizing what's happened and immediately feeling ashamed.

"You shouldn't lose sleep because of me," he says by way of apology, shifting a little in the god's arms like he's trying to pull away. "I'll leave so you can rest."

In response, Horus just tightens his arms around the mortal and keeps him hugged against his chest. "You'll do nothing of the sort," he tells him gently, shifting the stubborn little thief in his arms so that Bek is now facing him. "You need sleep as well and I'm not releasing you until I believe you're sufficiently rested."

"You're a stubborn bastard," Bek tells him affectionately, knowing this is a losing fight. Not that he has that much fight in him at the moment; in spite of himself, all he wants to do is drift off again and go back to sleep.

"And you're a troublesome thief," Horus retorts, his tone equally fond. His thumb traces the length of the smaller man's spine carefully, feeling every bump and prominence of bone beneath his skin. "Sleep," he tells him gently, his lips brushing lightly against Bek's forehead. "I will keep you safe."

Bek accepts the offer with a small, tired smile and allows himself to drift off again. The amount of trust he places in the god now compared to the level of distrust he'd had in him before is staggering and Horus vows never to let him down again.

The nightmares resurface later in the night, as they're often wont to do, but the god is prepared for this as well. With every flinch and frown and twitch, he simply hugs Bek closer and traces long, smooth lines up and down the length of his spine with his thumb.

"You're safe," he tells him over and over, forcing undying conviction into his voice with each word. "Everything is alright. Go back to sleep."

It works. Neither of them are really sure why but it works. When he sleeps with Horus, tucked in the god's arms and pressed tightly against his broad chest, Bek is finally able to escape his demons even if it's only temporarily. When he sleeps with Horus, Bek is actually able to _sleep_.

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 **Thanks for reading guys! :D**


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